Thursday, November 12, 2009

Stories from the Past

This is my creative nonfiction essay I wrote for my online creative writing class. It is just the rough draft, but I don't think I need to change much so I thought I'd post it anyways. By the way, the paragraphs and dialogue are structured wrong only because blogger won't allow me to use the tab key.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

I am 16 years old. It is the end of the first week in November, 2002. I am in the ICU of Hennepin County Medical Center lying in a hospital bed. It has been seven days since I was in a terrible car accident that left me paralyzed from the neck down and on a ventilator. My mother, a beautiful, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman is sitting by my bedside. She is examining my long dark brown hair.

"Jenni, I think it would be better if I just cut them all out," she says, staring into my blue eyes, leaning on the edge of the bed softly touching my forehead with her right hand.

"Please no," I beg, "promise me you won't!" I am looking at her with sad puppy eyes and a frown, trying to show her with my face how badly I want her not to do it.

She is talking about the six giant matted clumps of hair on my head. They are like rats' nests; a combination of blood, grease and filth. I have been lying on my hair for a week. The doctors and nurses are more concerned about my health and keeping me alive than my knotted-up hair. My mother is letting me know that it's time to get rid of the nasty bunches. I am pleading with her more, asking if there is any way that she could try to salvage as much hair as possible. My mother's intention is to cut every chunk to avoid further matting.

She spends a grueling 3 hours trying to de-tangle the masses. I am fading in and out of sleep due to the heavy drugs given to me for pain relief. While I am partially asleep, my mother asks the nurse on duty for a pair of scissors. The nurse turns around and looks at my mother with a puzzled face. She tells the nurse that it's necessary; she has been trying so hard, but this one clump is too big and too tangled to get so she is going to have to cut it.

I wake up to the sound of an alarm going off. I am relieved to see my mother still at my bedside. She looks at me with a concerned face. I ask her what is wrong. She tells me that she cut a chunk out of my hair while I was sleeping.

"Don't be mad, I had to do it," she exclaims. "It's just hair, it will grow back."

"But it was my hair!" I yell back. I'm sure she can feel the hurt in my voice.

***

It is mid-October, 2005. I am on my way to Rocco's hair salon a few blocks away from my house. My mother is driving me in our handicap accessible van that is custom fit for my wheelchair. We arrive at Rocco's and I get out of the van using the wheelchair lift. As I enter through the double doors, the first thing I notice is the smell of hair products; shampoo and conditioner, hair spray, gel. I am looking around, checking the place out. There are photos hanging on the walls of people posing, showing off their hairstyles. I go in further and check in at the reception desk. They take me over to a spot that they have prepared for me. They have moved the barber chair before I got there so that my wheelchair can sit right in front of the mirror. As I get into position, I hear blow dryers running and clients gossiping to their stylists about their seemingly busy lives.

I am going to be cutting 12 inches of my hair off and donating it to an organization called Locks of Love. They use the hair to make wigs for kids with alopecia, a disease that prevents them from growing hair. My decision to donate my hair came about when my mother told me that my hair was getting long. It is down to my elbows, the longest it's ever been. I decide that I just want to snip it all off and give short hair a try. My mother suggests that if I'm going to do that, I might as well donate it. I tell her it's a great idea, and wish I'd thought of it myself.

After a few minutes the hairstylist shows up in front of me. Her name is Sandy; she has brown spiked hair with highlights. She is wearing blue jeans with a white button up blouse on top, tucked into her waistband. She has a black vest draped over her blouse and cowboy boots on. Her personality strikes me. I can tell she is an eccentric free spirit who is positive and willing to go for anything, just by first glance.

"Are you ready?" asks Sandy in a husky voice.

I pause for a moment and then say, "I think so; as ready as I ever will be."

Sandy puts my long hair in a ponytail. She picks up a scissors and begins to cut right above the hair tie. When she is done, 12 inches of my hair is free from my head. She holds it up next to me and looks at my face in the mirror. I am overwhelmed with feelings. Thoughts and emotions are filling my head like water seeping into an open hole. My feelings are very strong, and I begin to show it. I am realizing that I am giving a piece of myself away; a piece that I once fought so hard keep.

My hair is now chin length. Sandy sprays it wet with a squirt bottle full of water. She then cuts the uneven ends straight before layering it all around. Then she cuts the front to the shape of my face. When the cutting is over with, she starts blow drying it and uses a round brush to curl the ends under.

"So, what do you think? Do you like it?" asks Sandy.

"It feels so different," I respond, "but I really like it. It makes me look older."

"Great! Anything else I can get you?" Sandy says as she looks at me and then my mother.

"I think we're good," replies my mother. Then she glances at me with a smile, "I am so proud of you! You're an amazing person and I'm glad you're my daughter. You're going to make such a difference on someone's life."

"Thanks," I say as we exit the salon. "I may not be able to walk or breathe on my own, but I can grow hair."

Jenni

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Angel Light



I'm not quite sure where this picture is taken, but I think it is interesting. It is not digitally enhanced in any way. I do believe in angels and think it's cool how light can make shapes like this. I've actually seen another picture before of light making an angel.

Jenni

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Personal Ad

For my interpersonal communication class I have to write a personal ad for myself. I've never done one before, so I've been searching the Internet to see what other people have written. I have to say, I found some interesting people out there. I'm seriously considering going on one of those dating websites. Not that I'm really looking for anyone right now, but it would be kind of interesting to see how it works. I've heard of many people meeting on the Internet and actually getting married.

The only thing I'm worried about is if no one responds or tries to contact me. I mean, there aren't many people who would actually seek out a quadriplegic on a ventilator. The statistics for me finding someone who can see past my disability are low. This is one of the things I struggle with the most. The future and what it holds. I'm trying to be optimistic though. I don't really tell a lot of people this, but it's easy to talk to a computer because it doesn't talk back. It's hard to explain these feelings to other people. I'm sure there are other quadriplegics or people with disabilities who feel the same way.

Jenni

Friday, November 6, 2009

Free Book


This is a press release sent to me in an e-mail from Danielle's foundation. I thought the book looked interesting, even for families of kids with other disabilities besides cerebral palsy and brain injury.

Danielle’s Foundation Empowers Special Needs Families with Free Book

Growing non-profit devoted to helping families of children with cerebral palsy and brain injury commits to mission of informing and supporting parents

PHILADELPHIA—Danielle’s Foundation, a growing non-profit organization dedicated to helping parents of children with cerebral palsy and brain injury, announces the publication of its new book, Getting the Therapy, Benefits, and Resources Your Child Needs: A Guide for Parents of Children with Cerebral Palsy and Brain Injury.

Authored by Richard P. Console Jr., one of the volunteers at Danielle’s Foundation, the book was written to help parents navigate the complexities and challenges associated with successfully raising children with brain injury and cerebral palsy.

The comprehensive, 176-page guide includes the following topics:

• Understanding your child’s diagnosis, and what it means for the future
• Funding your child’s care
• Securing effective and cutting-edge therapies
• Negotiating successfully with your insurance company
• Demystifying the often confusing world of government benefits
• Ensuring your child receives the education he or she deserves
• Estate planning for families of special needs children

“My reasons for writing this book are personal,” said Console, who helped found Danielle’s Foundation in memory of Danielle Vick, the daughter of a friend who passed away in 2008 from complications associated with anoxic brain damage at just 4 years old. “While Danielle’s life was short, it was incredibly inspirational, and though she is no longer with us, we take comfort in knowing that we can make her legacy live on forever”.

Console said the purpose of the book is to educate and empower families of children with brain injury and cerebral palsy, so they can effectively advocate for their children. While he admits that families of special needs children face difficult challenges, he feels that with knowledge and education comes hope. “Every parent wants the best for their child, but getting the benefits their child needs is not always easy, and a lot of parents don’t know where to turn for help and support. We want Danielle’s Foundation to be that guiding light to which families can turn.”

“Getting the Therapy, Benefits, and Resources Your Child Needs: A Guide for Parents of Children with Cerebral Palsy and Brain Injury” is FREE to parents who call Danielle’s Foundation today toll free at 1-800-208-3494.

Parents interested in learning more about Danielle’s Foundation, and the support and services it offers, may visit http://www.daniellesfoundation.org/ for more information.


About Danielle’s Foundation

Danielle’s Foundation is a non-profit resource that is committed to helping families of children with cerebral palsy and brain injury gain the knowledge to secure the therapy, benefits, and resources their children need. It was created by a team of grassroots volunteers whose mission is to help parents navigate through the challenges and complexities that arise while caring for their children. Their website, http://www.daniellesfoundation.org/, also offers hundreds of articles related to treatments and therapies, education, estate planning, and legal and financial issues. Join Danielle’s Foundation today to become a part of their support network, where parents can unite to share and exchange their knowledge to educate and empower each other via their online forum.

Jenni

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Update

On Monday I went to the doctors to get more Botox injections in my neck and shoulders. It's so nice to have my muscles loose again. The downside is that in three months I will have to go back because it will wear off. I also got my H1N1 flu shot.

Yesterday I had my interpersonal communication class and we had a quiz on chapter 8 which was all about listening. I got 15/15! I guess that proves something, I know how to listen. I have a six page fiction paper rough draft due on the 14th for my online creative writing class. I'm looking forward to writing it. I got great reviews from my teacher on my creative nonfiction paper that I turned in about a week and a half ago.

This afternoon I got in the standing frame with my physical therapist, Nicole. Usually the nurses and PCA's just get me in but lately I haven't been able to get up to 90° before my blood pressure drops. Nicole wanted to try to figure out why I could only get up to about 60°. I had a feeling this would happen, but I ended up getting up to 90° in about 20 minutes. Half the time it takes me to get to 60° when I do it without her. We figured out that it was probably due to the fact that I do the standing frame in the morning because that's the time I have a PCA. Today I did it in the afternoon. I had been sitting up in my wheelchair all day versus just getting up from lying in bed all night long. That's partly why my blood pressure had been dropping.

Jenni

Sunday, November 1, 2009

A Sudden Change

Today is the seven-year anniversary of my accident. I went to church this morning and they aired My Faith video that I made. It's very ironic that it just happens to be November 1; they didn't plan that on purpose. The pastor saved my video for last, and after showing it he read the first part of the about me section that I have on blog. It was very good and I think I made an impact on a lot of people. After the service, many people came up to me and said thank you for sharing my story. I posted the video below. I say basically everything in the video that I probably would have written in the post today talking about the anniversary of my accident.






Jenni

"Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending"
-Maria Robinson

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power."
-Alan Cohen

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."
-Anais Nin

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween!


The picture above is of my cat Ty showing off his best Halloween pose.






The link below is to an e-card that my sister sent me for Halloween. She used pictures of my dad, his dog, herself, me and Arnold Schwarzenegger to make up the characters. I tried to get the video on my blog but it wouldn't work, so you have to click on the link to view the video.

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/dDjRtp813MVAl9ie

Jenni

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Things To Think About

I found these to be quite funny. Check them out for yourself and let me know what you think:

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving probably isn't for you.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

Under-Achievers Anonymous has an 11-step program.

Why do people park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?

Why is it that when we send something by car we call it SHIPment, but when we send something by ship we call it CARgo?

Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?

Warning: dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

No sense being pessimistic; it probably won't work anyway.

I thought about joining the Optimists, but then I had my doubts.

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you`re ahead?"

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

There are 3 kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it is pronounced?

Of course I believe in free will. Do we have a choice?

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

I went to a restaurant that had a sign, "Breakfast Anytime". So I ordered scrambled eggs during the Renaissance.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

A baby-sitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Don't take life so seriously...it's not permanent.

Don't worry about the world ending today...It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.

The really nice thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise and is not preceded by a period of worry and depression.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavors, but dishwashing liquid made from real lemons?

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case...coincidence?

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Half the people you know are below average.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Axe me about eubonics

Jenni

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

The Month for Birthdays

Happy birthday mom! I want to thank you for everything you do for me. You're the best mom anyone could ever have. I appreciate you so much and love you.

Jenni

Monday, October 26, 2009

Did You Know?


I get autonomic dysreflexia.

According to SCI-info pages, "Autonomic dysreflexia, also known as hyperreflexia, means an over-activity of the Autonomic Nervous System causing an abrupt onset of excessively high blood pressure. Persons at risk for this problem generally have injury levels above T-5. Autonomic dysreflexia can develop suddenly and is potentially life threatening and is considered a medical emergency. If not treated promptly and correctly, it may lead to seizures, stroke, and even death.

AD occurs when an irritating stimulus is introduced to the body below the level of spinal cord injury, such as an overfull bladder. The stimulus sends nerve impulses to the spinal cord, where they travel upward until they are blocked by the lesion at the level of injury. Since the impulses cannot reach the brain, a reflex is activated that increases activity of the sympathetic portion of autonomic nervous system. This results in spasms and a narrowing of the blood vessels, which causes a rise in the blood pressure."

Commen warning signs for autonomic dysreflexia include a fast, major increase in blood pressure, pounding headache, flushed or reddened skin, goosebumps, heavy sweating, blurry vision or seeing spots, anxiety or jitters, a stuffy nose, and tightness in chest or flutters in your heart or chest. When I get autonomic dysreflexia, the first thing that happens is my blood pressure increases. If it goes on for longer, I get goosebumps, a headache, and my skin becomes red and blotchy. I have never experienced any of the other warning signs listed above, but people with lower injury levels tend to get them.

If any of these warning signs appear, there are a few steps that have to be taken. Proper treatment of autonomic dysreflexia includes determination and removal of the triggering stimuli. First, sit up or raise head to 90°. This will bring the blood pressure down. Second, loosen or take off anything tight. Third, check bladder for drainage. Fourth, call your health care professional.

Causes of autonomic dysreflexia according to SCI-info pages:

"There can be many stimuli that cause autonomic dysreflexia. Anything that would have been painful, uncomfortable, or physically irritating before the injury may cause autonomic dysreflexia after the injury.

The most common cause seems to be overfilling of the bladder. This could be due to a blockage in the urinary drainage device, bladder infection (cystitis), inadequate bladder emptying, bladder spasms, or possibly stones in the bladder.

The second most common cause is a bowel that is full of stool or gas. Any stimulus to the rectum, such as digital stimulation, can trigger a reaction, leading to autonomic dysreflexia.

Other causes include skin irritations, wounds, pressure sores, burns, broken bones, pregnancy, ingrown toenails, appendicitis, and other medical complications."

The most common reason why I get autonomic dysreflexia is if my bladder is full. All I have to do is cath and it goes away. The next most common reason is if I am laying on a wrinkle or somethings too tight on my body. If there is any pressure inside or outside of my body, I will get dysreflexia. My blood pressure has never gotten to dangerous levels, and I have never actually called my doctor because of getting dysreflexia. I'm lucky that I can detect it soon enough and do something about it before it gets bad.

Jenni